Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
