I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
