it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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