We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
