Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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