white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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