There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
