you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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