yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
