i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
