if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
