I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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