My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
