Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
