and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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