Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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