whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
