Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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