Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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