he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
