Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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