I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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