Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
