I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize