I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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