I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
