i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
