i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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