Dual....:-)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize