I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
