I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
