take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
