wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
