Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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