She is in my trunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
