I wish I could teleport
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
