i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
