JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
