non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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