PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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