i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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