If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
