Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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