I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
