I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
