Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
