If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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