yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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