Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
