that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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