he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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