I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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