I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The air was thick with penises
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize