and you said cock pushups were impossible
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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