I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
