If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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