Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
