Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
