those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
