I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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