Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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