What a fucking waste of an outfit
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
