I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
