Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
COCAINE IS GR8
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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