it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
