fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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