when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
