I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
